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How to Deal with a "Mean Girl," Says Therapist

How to deal with difficult girls, according to a relationship expert.

In the movie Mean Girls, new girl Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) is forced to deal with her high school's "mean girl," Regina George. Unfortunately for Lohan's character, she hadn't been adequately educated on how to handle a not-so-nice and dominating girl without becoming one herself. Kimberly Moffit, a relationship expert and founder of Ask Kimberly, claims to know the secret to how to handle a mean girl without losing your cool. In a video that has been viewed over 642,600 times, she shares three of her methods. 

There Are Two Types of Mean Girls


According to Moffit, these tips can be used to deal with two types of mean girls. One is a person who is a "fake" friend, and the other is just any mean girl who is talking behind your back.

They Talk Behind Your Back

Women drinking coffee and gossiping at street cafe.

"Have you ever had to deal with a mean girl? Like nasty, talks behind your back or maybe she's a friend who you know is not really rooting for you," she asks. 

These Three Tips Will Have the Mean Girl "Wishing She Never Spoke to You"


Moffit says there are three ways people can put a classic mean girl  "in her place," adding that it is "'the most satisfying thing in the world." Her techniques will have the "mean girl" walking away "with her tail between her legs" and "wishing she never spoke to you." 

Method 1: Don't Talk About Them Behind Their Back


The first tip is to refrain from talking about them behind their back, especially to mutual friends. This can make you look bad – not them. "What most people do when they find out a mean girl is bad-mouthing them is they start going around and talking to their mutual friends telling them that this girl isn't really nice, she's mean," she says. 

Avoid the Temptation

Group Of Female Friends Enjoying Evening Drinks In Bar

 "It is really normal to want to share what this person's true colors are so everybody knows what they're really like but you're not going to do that."

Avoid Mentioning Her Name


She suggests not even mentioning their name. "From a psychological perspective, a girl actually lowers herself when she speaks badly of another girl, making her seem like the less attractive one," she said. 

Method 2: Try to Curb Your Anger Toward Them


The second tip? Try not to be so angry. "When you have a mean girl in your life every (social media) post she makes is going to annoy you," she said.

Anger Takes Away Your Power


"The emotion of anger takes away your power and negotiation meaning that if you're angry with her in future dealings, she's already won."

Method 3: Have a One-on-One Talk with Her

Two smiling students having a cup of coffee in college canteen

Her last tip is to confront the mean girl one-on-one. "The reason mean girls are mean is that nobody around them is real with them. Her friends will tiptoe around her, worried about what will happen if they upset her," she said.

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This Will Shock Her


"You are going to isolate the mean girl away from her friends and have a direct heartfelt one-on-one conversation. This will shock her because she's not used to it and this is the point where she'll usually back down."