5 Secrets to Negotiating a Pay Raise Without Being Awkward

Asking for a pay raise is one of the most uncomfortable aspects of employment. According to a recent survey, just 37 percent of workers have ever asked for a raise from their current employer. Here's the good news: The same survey found that seventy percent of employees who have asked for a raise received one, and thirty-nine percent of those who asked for a raise received the amount they asked for. In a new piece for The Telegraph, Baroness Helena Morrissey DBE, who ran Newton Investment Management for 15 years, reveals a few of her secrets to negotiating a pay raise without being awkward. 

"Being paid what we're worth is critical – whether it's to pay the bills, save and invest, build a pension, or position ourselves for the next promotion," Morrissey explains.

She points out that it can be "tricky" for women to negotiate a pay raise, and compared to men, they request one less often. "And, even if we do pluck up the courage to ask, our success rate is pitiful – just a third of women get a rise after asking for one, compared with almost half of men," Morrissey reveals. 

While "you may hold out hope that your company will reward people based on contribution," Morrissey says this usually isn't the case. Those who get the raise is the person "who shouts the loudest." 

This is why it is so important to know how to ask for one. "Let's acknowledge it can feel excruciating. I've raised the issue of my pay twice; both experiences felt awkward, but the outcomes were positive," Morrissey says. 

She explains that the first time she asked for a raise, it was "miniscule," and she didn't know what to say. "When my boss told me the numbers, he clearly expected me to be pleased. I mumbled 'thank you' but kept the meeting brief. Afterwards, I hid in the loo and cried; money was tight at that point, and I felt justified in expecting a much bigger rise," she says. Morrissey decided she needed to rectify the situation promptly. 

"I wrote down the reasons why I deserved a greater increase, sticking to the facts: the over-performance of the funds I managed, and changes in my role and contribution. I needed those facts right in front of me to stop my emotions taking over. I asked my boss if we could meet urgently to discuss my pay," Morrissey writes. 

She also suggests saving your request for when you have a strong case, and when you know the raise is affordable. "If your company has announced a blanket pay freeze, for example, only ask if you have taken on new responsibilities," Morrissey points out. 

"Do ask for a rise, though, if something has changed that means you really need more money," she continues, using the example of a woman having a baby, and not being able to afford childcare. "Many companies would much rather increase someone's pay than lose them – and some bosses are unaware of the cost of childcare. Once they see the maths, they are much more likely to help," Morrissey says. 

"Whatever your reasons, document them as a prompt. Keep it matter-of-fact, not emotional. Speak confidently, sounding as though you believe in your own worth – rehearse if necessary," she suggests.

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"Think in advance how you will react if the answer is no – whatever you do, don't cry or get angry in the meeting, or say something you might regret. See if you can leave the door ajar for a raise later in the year," Morrissey suggests. "At the same time, now that you know what you should be paid, start looking for a role at another company that will value you properly. No more wishful thinking."