7 Aging Regrets to Let Go Of Now

The key to happiness in old age might be letting go of regrets. That's the conclusion of a 2022 study published in Science, which found that older people who held on to fewer regrets had less depression. It makes sense—self-critical talk about things you may no longer have the power to change isn't exactly a recipe for good mental health. These are seven age-related regrets experts say you should let go of to watch your happiness soar.

In 2019, Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University, told Today that among the 1,500 older people he interviewed, worrying too much about things you may have no control over was a top regret. "Life is so short. What you will regret is weeks or months of the kind of mindless, self-destructive ruminating worrying that people do," many told Pillemer. "You're going to wish you had that time back."

Instead of beating yourself up over unhealthy choices you made in the past, focus on improving your lifestyle today. It's literally never too late to make a positive difference in your health via diet, exercise, self-care, and other lifestyle choices. Experts report that even people who quit smoking in their '70s are able to significantly improve their lung health. 

If you regret taking a specific career path, turn it around and focus on the opportunities that lie ahead. It's never too late to explore new passions and interests.

If you regret not spending more time with family and friends in the past, there's no time like the present to improve those relationships. Social media has made reaching out and reconnecting easier than ever. 

When your traveling days are done, you'll still wish you had taken just one more trip, Pillemer said. Even people who had done a lot of globetrotting would finish their interview with him by leaning forward and wistfully saying something like, "But I never got to Japan." He says that travel is so rewarding, it should take precedence over other things you spend money on. Travel when you can. And if you're no longer able to take extended international trips, there are plenty of ways to experience new places and cultures. 

Instead of regretting not sharing your feelings, you can take steps to communicate more honestly with loved ones today. And psychiatrists say—especially where these types of regrets are concerned—that it's important to forgive yourself for things that may have happened in the past. You can't change them, but you can grow from them, and continuing to beat yourself up will only make you unhappy. 

Grace Bluerock, a licensed clinical social worker, spent six years working in a hospice; she said this is one of the most common regrets at the end of life. "Consider making a list of everything you have ever wanted to experience in life," she told MindBodyGreen. "Then start crossing them off one by one and watch your happiness (and your comfort zone) expand dramatically."